Ponder this...

Sometimes being proper is stupid. "The door is ajar." "No, damn it, it's a door." I know, I know, but couldn't we have come up with something better? There are so many words like this in the English language. No wonder our kids are confused with the hardest language to learn.

Men. They don't have periods, babies taking over their bodies or ripping them apart. All body hair is acceptable, no milk coming out of those nipples, no girlish figure to keep. Although, they do have to have an erection before they can even think about sex, so there!

Have you ever thought about the amount of insect parts that there is inside our food? It's a really gross statistic. Actually, almost all food can become repulsive if you think about it too much. Meat, is an animal. Chocolate and grains are loaded with insect appendages and Cheese,... the moldier the better huh? Ick.

Is it ok, when you have a baby and end up with an episiotomy, for you to ask the doc to throw a few extra stitches in? Or is that just wrong? I mean, we're all human. They should know where your coming from, right?? Don't tell me you haven't thought about it.

Yummy and askew: Cheesy Doritos with ranch dip. Cheese and pickle slice sandwiches. French fries swirled in chocolate Frosty. Popcorn and Milk Duds. I think many foods can be slightly improved by just freezing them and therefore increasing their chewy value.