Hello 2010 Year!

I would like to start my posts off this year with some music recommendations. Music is one of my biggest loves. A place of solace, beauty, depth. I hope you enjoy these! First one is thanks to a lazy moment in front of the tele watching the Today show.

Break-Up by Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson:

My second, thanks to my obsession with the first and therefore plugging into the wonderful sight of Pandora and tada... another goody that I had heard on the radio and hadn't been able to identify.

The Reminder by Feist:

Now back to the regularly scheduled strangeness:

Apparently at the ripe age of 9 children start to lose the ability to use their own eyes and lack all judgement. I thought this was supposed to happen as a teenager. Be warned.. it starts much earlier and continues through the teenage years. I wish somebody would have informed me of this discrepancy in my parent manual.

Garlic is good for a lazy penis! Don't be startled. I was watching this show on Discovery Health last night about how different foods affect our body and apparently Garlic is good for your Jimmy stick! It provides a chemical that increases circulation and stimulates the muscles at the base of the penis. They were trying to see if it was a natural alternative to things like Viagra. Now,... let me just state for total clarity... this is not a problem in our household. Which is obvious since I'm pregnant! I'm all for research that bodes natural remedies instead of pill popping though so I found it interesting. Then I couldn't help but wonder. If Italian guys are loading up on garlic and red wine (oxygenation of the blood) is this perhaps why they are referred to as "Italian Stallions?"

Fun Fact: There is a systematic lull in conversation every 7 minutes.

Melty marshmallows and butter smell like pancake syrup! Does all hot edible fat smell the same?

Enjoy the New Year. This year I look forward to many things. Rafe and I are eagerly anticipating the arrival of our little baby girl Avi. She is a very active kicker which I will get around to posting some video of soon. Another year of watching our boys develop and grow and turn into young men with unique personalities. Another year of life with Rafe which has proven to be a never ending adventure and blessing. This year I will be venturing back into college classes which actually start next week! It may be all the hormones but even on my dumpy days I am feeling very blessed with my life. I am surrounded by beautiful, amazing, family, friends and even the occasional stranger. Life is good.

Tweet This & Nutty Curiosities

Do you think that when birdies have babes they ever get a surprise little one? Does mama bird ever pop out an extra egg? There is no birdie artificial insemination that we know of, so no chances of an octo-bird mom, but what happens when the nest cannot accommodate a surprise egg?

Imagine:

Ma bird: o dear papa, I seem to have squeezed out an extra

mini tweeter.

Pa bird: Better start gathering some spare twigs. We need to make

a nest remodel. Or we will have to move to the rabbit hole.

Do squirrels get tired of eating nuts? What is the equivalent of a big juicy steak to a squirrel? A fancy nut? A chocolate covered nut that has been accidentally dropped by holiday travelers?

Maybe Thanksgiving and Christmas is a favorite holiday among squirrels too! What would happen if a squirrel developed a nut allergy?? Would this be like the plague of squirrels?

Mind Dribble

Rafe and I were vegetating on the couch last night when a commercial came on for First Response pregnancy test. I never realized before that in the commercial it states claim as this. "Can provide an answer five days before a missed period." Correct me if I'm wrong or just having another case of mush brain but doesn't this mean you have to miss your period first??? If you take it before your period then how the hell do you know if you missed it? They need to be more thorough with their words. That's a pet peeve of mine. "Results five days before your expected period" or something.

As I sat here having my seventh meal of the day on Saturday I was struck by an oddity. I was having grilled cheese and tomato soup and thought, I'm eating fruit soup. Hot fruit soup. Suddenly it wasn't as appealing. I mean, I wouldn't eat hot pineapple soup or hot orange soup. Although I do enjoy some hot apples in non-soup form. mmmm.

I'm going to talk to some student advisers at the local colleges this week. I've been really tossing around the idea of going back to school. I think I may take a class at Herron in painting just as a stepping off point. To get me back into the swing of classes. I'm super excited. I've always wanted to take courses in painting. I'm still having a hard time figuring out what I want to get a degree in though. I have many factors to contemplate. I don't want to go for four years. So an associates it is. I want something that will provide me with a little more flexibility in my career but passionately fulfilling. I've tossed around so many thoughts and they are a wide range but I have high interest in all.

Dental Hygiene, Clinical Therapy Massage, Social Work, Civil Rights, Journalism. I need help here people. Thoughts?? I realize what your thinking too. Why am I starting with painting when none of these are art related degrees. I want to do the painting as a serious hobby. I have to keep in mind taking a course that I'm not so worried about the grade though since I will be taking it during a semester in which I will be also having this babe. It's simply to get me in motion. The wheels turning. So....help people. It takes many people to push a stalled car. I need feedback please peeps :)

Lost And Found

Having a child has many astounding affects on many people. If it does one thing to everybody though it's this. The searching. The sudden realization to stop, pause life, reflect, gather and contemplate. To go over the things in your life which you know or have learned thus far and simply....ponder. It's interesting to me today that, that very thing is the reason I started this blog. To ponder. Life, the ins, outs, complexities and oddities. To share the joy I take in finding the quirks. Here I am now, being brought through so much more to ponder. Maybe that just confirms that I was on the right path all along. So, I am here to share. These are the thoughts that have been racing lately. The lost and found moments of recent if you will....

Finding a beautiful moment in time. Occasionally in my life I have found myself struck by these absolutely amazing moments. Never when I expect them, but always when I seem to most need them. I get lost in myself sometimes. We all do. Caught up in the everyday junk. Caught up in the sadness's and pessimism's of life and not being grateful or simply not understanding why we face so many challenges. For me though, when that moment hits. That peace finally arises it makes all the other stuff worth it. The small stuff is truly what matters for me. I found a moment this evening. I have been sad, confused, madly in love, blessed, happy and strangely wonderful lately. I sit here this afternoon though. A beautiful inspiring moment having landed in my lap when I needed it most. Sia is playing in the background, candles are lit and the smell is intoxicating. The sun glimmers little bits of light through the trees surrounding my cozy space. The wind is blowing just a slight breeze, kissing everything lightly as it passes, the leaves rustling and a slight chill in the air. A moment of pure peace to reflect. I love these moments.

A donut can cure most hungry ills, and three cold chocolate donuts in a matter of two hours can even cure a pregnant woman's ills!

A lesson learned by expansion. I recently reinforced in a friend, a valuable lesson that was told to me when becoming a parent the first time around. A lesson that is simple enough. Sometimes however we need reminding. "It is always harder to be a good parent." I have always only thought of this lesson so blatantly in this context. Parenting. How naive of me. Fact is, it's is harder to do anything the right way. That's what gives the feelings of success though. The getting through it. I know its not easy to do the right things in life. It is worth it, but not easy. In reminding my friend of this, I reminded myself. Funny how that works.

Who remembers Nell?? The movie Nell. That woman was free. With the fear of sounding half witted over here. I have those moments when all I want to do is throw my hands in the air and dance around half hazard without any inhibition.

At some moment we are all our parents aren't we? If that's not a lesson in parenting then I don't know what is.

An angst filled love with fate. Dear Lord, life has shown me a tough path at certain turns in the road. I have days when all I want to do is fall to pieces and cry from the tiredness that takes over my body. In these moments I ask repeatedly, screaming, "why" I just want to see. Praying "God just give me the strength." I always pull through. The pieces always come together and the beautiful twisted story of events that lies behind is always, always an incredulous moment in my life that leads to such knowledge that at times it feels I may not be able to carry it all around. I may topple. I feel so blessed. Blessed to have made it through the tragedies that have struck so that I can realize and appreciate even the hard times.

The deep is just that. Deep. Life is so amazingly beautiful!

Prego. Holy Shit.. It's In Where?

That's right folks. This lady is Prego and that was pretty much my reaction when I found out too. I've been pregnant before, so, yes, I do realize how this works. I can say with assurance though that Rafe and I were both very surprised to find a positive pee on a stick, so surprised that I peed on another one and then went to the doc too just for "third times a charm" benefits. We are very excited to be having a little babe added to our family and it has, so far, just showed me again why I love Rafe. He has been so attentive and sweet. He is a pretty great guy!

So, along with this news has come the added bonuses of nausea, extreme need for sleepy time, hunger at all hours, emotional dramatization, and mommy potato brain. Or, aka...my brain has turned to mush!

The nausea has been a real pain in my ass cause unlike my pregnancy with Tim where I had "morning sickness" this is lasting all day long, every day, and even night. So not cool. I can't stand being an emotional wreck, especially when there is no rhyme or reason and it is purely hormonal. I apologize now to anybody that I scream, cry, laugh, or growl at in a completely inappropriate state.

The fun side. Mush brain! Some of you that read this may not realize what exactly I'm referring to. When a woman is pregnant her body is so out of whack and she has so much going on that she starts to do really stupid things and looses all sense of logic. Such as example number one: making a bowl of cereal for breakfast and then placing it in the freezer and going to watch the morning news.....therefore not eating the cereal or even realizing what you have done until you have half frozen mini wheat floating in milk ice!! WTF?? I must say at this point that I'm not sure if it's because I'm older that this is happening sooner in prego months, or the hormones are just extra crazy from that Colombian lovin. However, in previous Tim pregnancy this didn't start happening to me until I was about 7 months and I only had one thing that I did repeatedly and that was to leave the keys in the car, running after I would get home from work. Not sure why...maybe my hormones were just out to destroy the planet with carbon gases.

This pregnancy though, has already embarked on my stupid ass brain as noted in frozen floaters above. I have also translated needing two vitamins a day into "I need to buy two bottles". These are the same kinds of vitamins AM and PM mind you. I have left to babysit the Bennington Babes and left my house unlocked and doors wide open for a period of 7 hours simple cause I forgot that you close the door when leaving the house.

Last but not least the cat incident. I have noticed that Ferb kitty is on me constantly. I realize that animals have sensory about these sorts of situations but he is driving me bonkers!! He follows me EVERYWHERE and when I'm standing in one spot for more than two minutes he jumps UP my leg. As if to say "hey lady, your pregnant, sit the fuck down and take it easy." He even follows me to the bathroom, which is my incident theme room. I came home today from shopping. I was the only person in the house at this point and was not expecting company any time soon. As I walk to the bathroom, of course the dad cat follows his prancy ass behind me at which point I kick him out of the bathroom so that I can pee in peace and then I lock the door. Let's see...I LOCKED THE DOOR!!! Like that fraking cat is going to climb up and unlock it because he's just that interested or even cause he can....What?? I locked the door.I locked the door so the cat couldn't get into the bathroom people! Geez.

You know. I think there is a Dane Cook skit about things like this. Somebody help me!!! No wonder moms have that lasting effect of mom mush brain when they go to call their child's names and end up calling out every other persons name they've ever met before finally landing on the child's name that the frustrations were meant for. Thank god Rafe is moving in so that I don't do something crazy like super glue my ass to the floor or something!

Do I Prefer?

I'm realizing that it's much easier for some people to know what they like and don't like. For others, like myself, we need to experience an emotion with an event before being able to form an opinion. I feel like some people just....know...what they want out of life. So matter of fact. With no regrets or questioning. I am not one of those people. At times I think it may be easier to be that way but then again. If I were, then years from now when I'm a grandmother telling stories over and over again because I can't remember which stories I've already told. Hopefully my listeners won't get quite as bored because I have many more stories, experiences to pull from. I learn the hard way.....by going through it and not just tiptoeing around it. I'm confident that there are many others in my boat........so for those of you passengers sloshing along with me......I hope you enjoy this blog as I figure out my perspective and preferences in life.