I Like To Screw With Your Head

I was thinking that the next time I need to aerate my lawn instead of spending money on a machine I'm just going to invite a bunch of girlfriends over, require they wear high heels and have a dance party in the front yard. That should work right?

Ramen noodles are really a fabulous thing if you just add meat. Whatever flavor the noodle, add the corresponding meat, and maybe a fortune cookie for giggles.

I have tried for years to be less clumsy. Now I've come to terms and I'm just happy to be short. The taller you are the further you have to fall. Not to mention that it also leaves more body space to drop food on. I may drop dinner and dessert on myself all the time because of the hole in my lip, but it doesn't go far, and therefore makes the five second rule that much more appealing.

I've realized that it's next to impossible for me to be in a bad mood when listening to the Beastie Boys. If I'm not laughing at the lyrics, I'm trying to sing them and it's just a damn good time.

What is the purpose of a mosquito? Some bugs eat other bugs or feed the soil for plants to grow or pollinate flowers. Mosquitoes feast on us. What eats them? What is their job. Why God..why?

Lets say a woman has breast implants, and then dies, and years later her body has disintegrated into a skeleton. What happens to the implants? Are they there just rotting in the ground? If they are is this going to eventually build up and cause some sort of weird effects in the soil? Some chemical mixture that is essentially pollution? Or maybe they take that stuff out during em bombing? Morbid, I know.

What ever happened to Bonkers candy? The things that were like Starburst only better.

I've never smoked either but what about candy cigarettes? Seriously who thought this was a legit idea? Yet they were oh so good. Addictive. Much like the real thing I suppose.